Beginning this week, we’ll take a six-week journey in achieving the optimal success in life, a free, mini-course in success. PLEASE NOTE: You do NOT have to do one lesson per week. In fact, depending on what’s going on in your life, or what the topic brings up for you, you may want to take a couple of weeks. When you’re ready, move on. In the meantime, just file the information in a folder for future reference.
Did you enjoy playing with those questions from last week? I hope so! At the end of this week’s lesson I’ll have a few more things for you. (If you missed last week’s introduction to the free, success mini-course, just click here.
Have fun with this – it’s not a test! See you next week when we discuss the power within you to achieve the life you desire.
Not long ago I mentioned a “pegacorn” to a friend.
“Huh?” was the inevitable response. This exclamation, interestingly enough, came from someone who should, by now, be far from shocked, surprised, or dismayed when I talk about creatures or subjects not easily found on the first page above the fold of the Wall Street Journal.
“A pegcorn,” I responded. “It comes from the union of a pegasus and a unicorn. The offspring of a divine winged stallion, and the legendary equine with one, pointed, spiraling horn proceeding from its forehead, usually only ridden by a vestal virgin, which are nearly extinct … the virgins, I mean, not the unicorns.”
“You’re just making that up,” replied my little Doubting Thomas. “There’s no such thing as a ‘pegacorn.’ It’s a myth.”
At this point I answered with a respectful, “Yes, Dear.” But, I was absolutely gleeful as I was delighted that, for just a split second, my friend had suspended disbelief in two other creatures not often seen, while denying a third! (Frankly, I nearly fell off my unicorn, which is proof that gay men and well as vestal virgins may ride them.)
Kidding aside, this little exchange got me to thinking about how we often stumble when we are right at the brink of a breakthrough or major event while on the way to our dreams, goals, and vision. How often do we forget about our successes of the past and focus on what we think can’t happen next?
There are five keys to success, which I call the “Five P’s,” since each step begins with the letter “P:”
Over the next six weeks I’ll be writing about each of these, plus a bonus idea I hope you’ll find useful. In the meantime this week, give yourself the gift of time to ponder these ideas:
What do I believe today about my life that I didn’t (or couldn’t) just a few years ago?
What do I believe is currently impossible for my success?
Is that true? And, how do I know it’s true?
How would my life be different if it wasn’t true?
Have fun with this! See you next week when we open up to the possibility of success. You deserve to have a life worth living!
Have you ever heard someone say they wished they had the time to learn a new language, clean out the garage, or meditate regularly? My Grandma Esther would have said, “If wishes were horses all beggars would ride.”
We live in a driven, goal-oriented world. Being focused on our goals and mindful of our activities is a good thing; at least it is most of the time. This drive can have the same devastating effect on us as driving a car too far, too long, and at too fast a speed – eventual and unavoidable breakdown.
No one on the planet has any more time than anyone else. We all have 24 hours per day. How we use that time is up to us. Conflict occurs when we feel obligated to do something, or allow guilt to be the driving force in deciding whether or not to do something or go somewhere.
What this leads to is feeling like every minute of every day has to be focused on one thing or another in a hectic fashion. True, we may accomplish many things. But we may also find ourselves busy being busy rather than making progress toward our dreams, goals, and vision. Here’s one very good piece of advice in this regard:
Remember, you don’t have to be doing something “constructive” to contribute – the vibration of your contented energy is a blessing.
Rev. Jane Beach
Like everything in life, what we do, when we do it, and with whom we do it is ultimately up to us. We will only depress ourselves if we deride our decisions to watch a TV program just for fun, go to a movie, or just have a totally un-planned day. We need downtime. We need to recharge our batteries – mentally, emotionally, physically, sexually, and spiritually.
It’s when we intentionally step back from our projects and take a breath that a breakthrough can occur with renewed energy to continue forward.
It all comes back to balance. It requires we practice one of the most difficult habits around: We have to make a decision of what’s most important to us. If learning a foreign language is your goal you can easily do that in just 30-minutes per day. True, you might have to give up a sitcom, or play the CDs/MP4s in your car instead of listening to the news for a few weeks, but you can do it.
What have you been bitching about for far too long that you’ve wanted to do, but “don’t have the time?” Do yourself a favor. Do it. Or, if you really aren’t going to do it, then do yourself and everyone around you and stop bitching about it.
The stories we keep telling ourselves about why we can’t have or do something are only affirmations of the negative energy we seem to hold onto. We all have them in some area. Is today the day you could do a little spiritual/psychic self-surgery to eliminate yet another excuse for being the magnificent creature you are?
Do you sometimes feeling responsible for solving problems, issues, or conditions that have little or nothing to do with you? If so, you’re not alone.
Global news has made us far more aware of concerning and often tragic situations that deserve considering. But do they all merit our personal action? No.
We can’t do everything and we can’t make everything better for all people. Yes, there are those who preach you can have anything you desire and do everything you want. In fact, they are correct, except that one very significant and important factor is missing in that equation:
We don’t get something for nothing.
We may debate and disagree on whether or not we can have everything we want. But we can, perhaps, agree on this one thing: It’s nearly impossible to have everything we want simultaneously. A woman can’t be pregnant and not pregnant. A man can’t be married and single at the same time, though Lord knows enough of us try … ahem.
To have what we want means we must make choices. It isn’t a Divine Being above refusing to grant our wishes that stops us from getting what we want. Rather, it’s that we aren’t willing to make the choices necessary to have our desires, wants, and even needs fulfilled.
So how do we achieve true happiness and do our part to make the world a better place to live? I the words of Joseph Campbell, who said:
We’re not on our journey to save the world, but to save ourselves. But in doing that you save the world. The influence of a vital person vitalizes.
Is it time to be what the world or your friends and family might call “a little selfish” in your decisions and actions? I know so many people who tell me they want to write or be life coaches. Yet they don’t ever write or their lives don’t reflect they are practicing what they claim to want to teach to others.
Starting right this minute, embrace a newly-found desire to take care of yourself. Be the very best version of you in a vital, exciting, vibrant, and outstanding way that you’ve never before experienced. In doing so, you’ll start saving the world in ways you can’t even begin to imagine. Live your life with the magnificence that only you can to re-vitalize the entire planet!
Do you find the complainers in your life a total drag? Do some people seem to suck the very life out of you?
Psychic vampires. That’s what they’re called.
This type of person is especially drawn to those of us who are sensitive to energy, as well as people who are natural givers. We are also drawing them to us, though most people who consider themselves victims of psychic vampires and negative friends may not be aware of it.
Negative people and those who constantly complain are not bad folks. But they sure can be the Debbie and David Downers of our lives, and at the most inopportune times. This is especially true when we are expressing a dream we have, or some grand plan we are working on to unfold. That’s when they become total “Dreamkillers.”
They mean well. Most of the time, anyway. They don’t want us to be disappointed, or are afraid we will be working ourselves too hard.
Dreaming is a more passive form of visioning. Neither of these processes are about making plans or figuring out how something is going to come to fruition. Dreaming and visioning allow us to explore our desires. Then we open ourselves to whatever we are drawn to as a next step in the process.
Dreamkillers CAN be our best friends, though! Often we’ll find out that Debbie and David are there to express our own inner fears. A negative friend can allow us to explore our doubts, as if the sludge from the bottom of the trash can is bubbling to the top, ready to be skimmed off and tossed aside! (Oh, I DO hope you’re not eating!)
The next time you find a Dreamkiller or any other negative person staring you in the face send them love and compassion. Do not try to change them. It’s like trying to teach a pig to sing. It doesn’t work and it annoys the pig. Allow any negative comments to be your best friend. Recognize them for what they are: A representation of your doubts, your fears, or your nightmares.
Then, bless them and send them packing. The late Dr. Juanita Dunn used to tell me that, “You are the Divine Child, the Royal Prince, of the abundant and prosperity Royal Ruler. Child, God don’t make no junk.”
Our lives are exactly what we make of them. Will you choose to look at all the bad around you? Or, will you choose to bless all the good?
Go out today and rule your kingdom with love, prosperity and kindness, Your Highness!
Do you find yourself faced with too many choices? It’s definitely a “first world” problem. People in third world countries search for clean water on a daily basis. Meanwhile, we’re stumped at our grocery store trying to decide which of the 20 different types flavoring we want in our bottled water.
A great thing about realizing we are empowered in life is the power to choose. The downside of that is that we may be confused about what to choose. We know we can manifest that which we desire; but exactly what it is that we want?
There is a rule of thumb when focusing on a goal or using affirmative prayer: Be specific. Yet part of the joy in seeing our desires come into our life is watching how those things occur.
Being specific in our desires doesn’t mean we have to control the process. We can continue to be precise and detailed, but then turn it over to universal intelligence for the work necessary and the guidance needed. We don’t have to design detailed ways for things to happen. If fact, putting too many parameters on the way we expect our desires to come about can slow down or even stop the process.
If we truly believe in a power greater than us that we can use, then we would do well to balance our pragmatic desires with some good, old-fashioned trust. There are numerous examples in my own life and the life of others that I can think of where the outcome came about through completely unexpected means.
It’s not that the outcome was unexpected – there’s not much point in praying about something if we don’t expect it to happen! Rather it was the way in which it happened. By trusting in the process we open ourselves up to personal fulfillment as well as unique and amazing ways to be supported.
Why being bad at multitasking may be a very good thing
Are you good at multitasking? If you say, “Yes!” you’re not alone. I’ve often said I’m very good at it. Many of my friends tell me they are, too, and they do so with a great deal of pride.
This blog is about why we’re dead wrong.
It’s also about why being bad at multitasking may be a very, good thing.
I completely understand multitasking. When my husband once told a colleague what I do for a living (full-time job, run my own business, head up a non-profit foundation, and volunteer extensively), his friend remarked, “Oh, so you’re telling me he really hasn’t figured out what he wants to be when he grows up.”
One of my heroes, Marie Forleo (marieforleo.com) describes herself as a “multi-passioned entrepreneur.” I can relate. Like me, Forleo has followed a number of passions and paths to get to the level of success she enjoys today. The trick, however, is that when we multi-passioned entrepreneurs are working on one of our areas of interest we are working ONLY in that area.
That’s the key to being involved in many activities and interests: We must be focused on only one thing at a time. We must practice mindfulness.
Forleo explains that the act of multitasking is a conflict between having a single versus a split/multiple-focus. “A split- or multiple-focus approach will slow things down – it’s obvious, but we don’t always admit it!” she teaches.
Being a consummate multitasker for years I immediately objected when I heard her say this in an interview. But, given that she has a proven track record in success I decided to try it out for myself.
For about a week I refused to attempt doing two-, three- or more things at once. To help with this, each night before bed I created a list of accomplishments for the next day, categorizing them by level of importance.
The next day I followed the list to the letter. Plugging in space for unforeseen events or circumstances helps with this. I checked and responded to email and social media once in the morning and once in the afternoon (unless a list-related action required posting). I took time to make food for myself and/or my family; no reading, use of mobile devices or TV watching during eating. I even stopped making or taking phone calls while driving, even though I have a hands-free Bluetooth system in my car.
Boy did all that slow me down! But here’s the kicker:
I got more done.
My lifelong work has been to teach others how to have a life worth living through the use of vision and mission statements. There are many points to my method in doing that, but the two most important are focus and intention. Letting go of multitasking – which I’ve also called “doing many things poorly and getting little accomplished” – allows me to re-focus my intention.
The results over the past few months have been stunning. I’m happier, more content, definitely more productive, and my blood pressure is lower.
If you’re used to multitasking and feel you’re only successful if you’re exhausted at the end of the day from completing a list, give the information in this blog some thought. What are you willing to let go of so the project or direction you want to see manifest can get there more rapidly?
Hop on over to my “Making Sense of Life” blog to leave a comment! That link is:
Are you a quitter? “Of course not!” you might exclaim as if being classified as a quitter is worse than being a murderer. In some ways, you’d be right.
We are taught never quit, never give up. It’s drilled into our heads that quitters are losers. However, recent studies indicate that quitting a job, a relationship, a project or any number of other things might be one of the more healthy actions we can take.
Economist tells us that there is a point where we must cut our losses and move on; we have to sell the stock or take the loss on the investment. To get out of an investment is hard enough; relationships – another area hard to quit – can be even more problematic.
As Ennis says to Jack in the film Brokeback Mountain, “I wish I knew how to quit you.” We decide we need the guy to provide for us since we haven’t worked in decades. We determine that she’s only violent when she drinks and she’s always remorseful. After all, those partners have “so much potential.”
The problem with sticking with anything after its expiration date is that we only make ourselves sick, miserable and feeling like a victim. If only jobs and relationships had a “sell by” or “discard by” date like our milk products and other perishable food items do.
We wouldn’t drink curdled, tainted milk or think twice about tossing moldy leftovers found in the refrigerator. Yet we continue to stick it out in life situations hoping, without any logic and historical perspective to the contrary, that s/he/they will change or this time our horse will win.
Quitting a losing battle by moving to a job we love or leaving a relationship that is abusive or has a “past due to discard” date is empowering, energizing and freeing for everyone concerned. If you think you have something like this in your own life at this time please take the time to put your thoughts down on paper. List all the positive aspects of your situation, as well as the more negative circumstances. How does this list balance out?
Take this into prayer and meditation over the next two or three weeks. It’s seldom wise to make a snap decision on affairs of the heart or when we are feeling like making a change will brand us a quitter. But change is the only constant in the universe. Nothing stays the same.
Give quitting a chance. Realize that leaving what no longer serves us signals to the universe that we are willing to live dynamically and in new ways. In doing so, we bless ourselves and all those around us.