Whose Hero Are You?
Do you know the Bonnie Tyler song, “I Need a Hero?” If you’re younger than me you might remember the wicked stepmother singing an alternative version of it in Shrek II, but it first gained popularity in the original version of the movie, Footloose. Here’s the first part of the original song:
Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the Gods?
Where’s the street-wise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?
Isn’t there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn
And I dream of what I need
Like me, you may have grown up believing in a God or power of some kind (even if it was a guardian angel or fairy godmother) who can swoop down or otherwise act on our behalf, making everything better.
That entity would give us exactly what we wanted and perhaps, just for added measure, even make a few people who had stood in our way pay for getting in our way.
Ahhhhhh … sigh… the curse of thinking that someone else is in charge of our lives! We make our ministers, our politicians, our entertainers, and our sports celebrities into our heroes. These are usually people whom we think have gone beyond where we are in spirituality, celebrity, wealth, happiness, or have a smokin’ bod.
We put these people up on pedestals, often not as a goal to attain or exceed, but as a status unattainable to us. That’s one of the reasons why reality shows are so popular: the participants have achieved what we can’t envision, or conversely are so awful that we feel superior!
For the smokin’ bod types we also forget their jobs are to be in the gym six hours a day, seven days a week, attended by a personal trainer, and quite often not just a little plastic surgery along the way. Even after all that, none of their pictures hit the stands in magazines or online without major Photoshopping. Minor detail? I think not.
Just a side point, do you know what the fastest-growing implants are? Pec and calf implants for men. You thought something else didn’t you?
There are no white knights swooping into to slay our dragons and rescue us like we are some helpless damsel in distress. Speaking on behalf of myself – and a few other gay men I know – I have been both white knight (on far too many occasions) and damsel in distress (a pathetic state of being if you ask me). Neither is terribly gratifying. Oh sure, it’s a tremendous ego boost to solve someone else’s problems, make things all better, and kiss their boo-boos, until you realize you’ve created a co-dependent slug who expects you to do everything for them.
The damsel in distress role isn’t what it’s cracked up to be either. Who wants to be dependent on another person for everything? If we give someone the power to make us happy we also give them the power to make us sad. Even Disney has finally figured out that the princess is no longer helpless, though for the most part the female lead still tends to eventually hook up with a male counterpart. That’s partly because of the antiquated idea in our society that you have to be in a relationship to be happy.
You don’t need a hero in your life, at least in the sense of someone who will take away your problems. Mentors? Absolutely. We need to honor the trusted crones and wise sages in our midst. Or, how about a trained practitioner to work with you about your issues and goals through the unique and wonderful process of spiritual mind treatment?
If you want results I suggest both those methods. But a hero? Nah. You’re so way beyond that. However, if you really still feel you need one, try your bathroom mirror. Awesome!
You are completely, 100 percent capable of making your own decisions and charting your own course. You are a unique, magnificent creature. We are waiting in breathless anticipation and baited breath to find out what completely fabulous thing you are going to do next. We know you won’t disappoint. In fact, you are going to completely knock our socks off!
Copyright © 2013, 2018 Terry Drew Karanen. All rights reserved.
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