Have you ever heard the expression, “Mind your own beeswax,” or used it yourself? I was an inquisitive child. My grandma Esther would use that phrase on me quite liberally when I was being too nosey about things that she thought didn’t concern me.
The phrase is simply a nicer way to tell someone to mind their own business, in spite of all the urban myths about the history of why this saying came to be. But recently I found myself saying it to myself.
What will follow will be a somewhat self-deprecating story about why I was scolding myself. If you are one of the two people in the world that thinks I can do no wrong and never make mistakes, run along and read something else or wait till next week’s blog because I really did a number on myself this week.
I was surfing through Facebook postings when I could have been using my time more wisely to accomplish writing I really did want to get to (like this blog!), when I found a friend had “Liked” something on his page and decided to click on that link.
The “Liked” page was of a drop-dead gorgeous guy, which admitted caught my interest more than the content of the posting. I was intrigued (read: nosey) as to why my friend was interested in him. It seemed so out of character.
Fifteen minutes later after viewing every legitimate site on the guy – as well as a few illegitimate ones (use your imagination) – I stopped clicking and started channeling Grandma Esther. WHAT was doing? Why, just WHY?!?
Wasting time, for one thing, but it was more than that. What business is it of mine what my friend likes or dislikes? None. Why do I need to know why they are into the activities they are into? I don’t, unless they choose to share it with me. And yet, people around the world are glued to their televisions throughout the week doing just that with reality TV shows of all kinds.
Here’s what one woman in recovery said to her sponsee regarding being more interested in the lives of others instead of our own:
Don’t you have enough character defects of your own to worry about?
Ah, but there ‘tis, isn’t it? If we are busy being up in someone else’s business we don’t have the time to be digging into the lives of others. It does, however, serve a purpose.
That self-imposed “need to know” stops us from doing what we know we need to do in our own lives. It takes precious time away from helping us hone our skills by studying something new, cleaning out the closet we’d like to get to, weed the garden or do the dishes. And, when those things don’t get done we can lament (to anyone who will listen, usually by way of a social media post) that we just don’t have enough time in the day to get everything we want to get done. Poor lamb!
So … you have a choice now. You could write me an email or comment on this blog, analyzing all the ways I could have done things differently and what my psychological need was to “investigate” something.
Or, you could mind your own beeswax and get much more accomplished. You can do whichever you wish, of course, particularly if you have absolutely no character defects of your own with which to content. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a closet to clean and a garden to weed!
In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,
gossip, nosey, judgment, criticism, responsibility, choice, arrogance