Why Did This Happened?

I originally wrote parts of this week’s blog shortly after Malaysian Airlines flight 370 went missing. A recent event in my own life has had me once again asking the same question – over and over and over again:  Why did this happen?

Something very personal in my extended family happened last week. My niece, Kalee Scolatti, was shot and killed along with a long-time family friend, TJ, who was like a big brother to her. Their murders were at the hand of Kalee’s estranged husband, who then turned the gun on himself. Kalee03Kalee leaves behind three beautiful daughters to grow into adulthood without her. How do we get through times like these?

Telling ourselves or one another that “God was finished with them on this earth,” or that He took them from us for some unknown reason doesn’t do much good. Perhaps the most profound statement is one believed to been written by wise King Solomon, “Time and unforeseen circumstances befall us all.” But, even that is of little comfort when Kalee was not there this past weekend to allow her daughters to celebrate Mother’s Day with her, or for any of these three people killed to honor their own mothers. The annual holidays, birthdays and other celebrations in the coming months for at least four families will not be the same without them.

“Why?” is a question that rarely has a satisfying answer after a shocking situation like this. Rather, what affects change is asking, “How can I support you?” Kalee’s daughters need support in more ways than they might realize right now. The parents of each of those Kalee01people killed need support. The many friends, family and colleagues of each of them need support. I know you’ll keep each and every one of them in your thoughts and prayers. But how can this perhaps distant event be a time to pause for you in your own life?

Here’s how:  Ask yourself who is waiting for you to support them this week. Ask yourself from whom are you willing to accept help. Seeking to learn the answer to those questions is keeping me busy while the seemingly unanswerable gets worked through. In the meantime, who have you not spoken to in a while? Whose voice do you need to hear today and who needs to hear yours? Time and unforeseen circumstances truly do happen all the time. We have an obligation to support those we love and be supported by others while we are here on this planet…in some cases for far too short a time.

With love,



Rest in Peace – Kalee Scolatti

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