A Dance With Life

Are so excited to get to work that you almost can’t stand it?

Sadly, many people will say “No.” Studies have shown the majority of workers don’t like their jobs .Work is drudgery, paying our dues, a necessity evil.

Geez…if THAT’S the way we think about it no wonder people don’t want to go to work! Would YOU want to go to a party that was going to be miserable? I wouldn’t.

That’s not how work has to be. In my new book coming out soon, “How to Find Your Vision and Get a Life!” there’s a section that refers to a different meaning of the word “work.” I’ve been told that “work” and “worship” come from the same root meaning.

What if our work was a sacred act, like worship? What if what we did for a living was a contemplation of our sacred service to others?

Well … it is!

You may not have thought of it that way, but service to others, no matter how small, is a sacred act. Issues with religious organizations can stand in the way of our recognition of the sacred and beautiful paths we live each day.

Earlier this month Mike Dooley (of tut.com fame) mused about what work would be like if we changed its name to “dance-with-life.” He suggested we might have so much fun being happy, meeting new people and watching the doors of abundance open to us that the sale of lottery tickets could plunge!

It’s not selfish to be happy and enjoy life. What’s selfish is hiding who you are and denying the rest of the world that special gift that only you can give. What’s your gift? Are you willing to dance with life?

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

 

Celebrating Our Failures

There is a danger about living our lives in a positive way. What’s that, you ask?

We may feel ashamed when things don’t turn out the way we thought they would. We might feel that if our desires are sincere then the outcome should be assured. To avoid the pain we may even refuse to admit the situation.

“What a wonderful opportunity I’m having,” we may say when our experience goes south. Okay, I get it. I know bad events, even tragedies, can turn out months or years later to have a blessing of some kind. But stay with me.

What I want to suggest is that we start being a little more willing to use the “F” word in our daily lives. Not that “F” word! This one:

FAILURE

“But we don’t fail! It’s just a success that didn’t work.” Oh for God’s sake! I couldn’t ever quite put this into words the right way until I read Beth Kanter’s article in the Harvard Business Review, “Go Ahead, Take a Failure Bow.” It finally showed me just how positive a failure can be!

Kanter quotes the work of psychologist Sol Rosenthal who shows how a index finger wags at us or how we wag our index finger at someone else. Instead of using the failure as a way of bettering ourselves, we can easy blame others, be blamed or blame ourselves.

Even more harmful is to ignore the situation altogether. It’s that SEITL Syndrome – “Smelly Elephant in the Livingroom” Syndrome. Just keep ignoring it and it will go away or at least after a bit of time we’ll get used to the smell.

There are going to be times when what we do just doesn’t work out the way we planned. Instead of trying to make a sow’s ear into a silk purse, we can happily throw our arms up in the air and shout with pride, “I FAILED! I FAILED!” It’s not about blame; it’s about taking responsibility for the result. Then we laugh at the situation or foibles and decide what we can learn from the mess in front of us to move closer to what we really want.

Kanter’s approach works in a business environment or a personal one. It gives us permission to make mistakes on our way to success! How refreshing is that, instead of shaming ourselves or others?

I invite you to rejoice and celebrate a failure of your own some kind this week. If you have a moment or two, give Kanter’s article a look-see at:  https://hbr.org/2013/04/go-ahead-take-a-failure-bow

boa

I promise you won’t be disappointed. I especially liked the joyful funeral eulogy to the death of the failure and the staff that wears pink boas to celebrate their failures!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry

Why Did This Happened?

I originally wrote parts of this week’s blog shortly after Malaysian Airlines flight 370 went missing. A recent event in my own life has had me once again asking the same question - over and over and over again:  Why did this happen?

Something very personal in my extended family happened last week. My niece, Kalee Scolatti, was shot and killed along with a long-time family friend, TJ, who was like a big brother to her. Their murders were at the hand of Kalee’s estranged husband, who then turned the gun on himself. Kalee03Kalee leaves behind three beautiful daughters to grow into adulthood without her. How do we get through times like these?

Telling ourselves or one another that “God was finished with them on this earth,” or that He took them from us for some unknown reason doesn’t do much good. Perhaps the most profound statement is one believed to been written by wise King Solomon, “Time and unforeseen circumstances befall us all.” But, even that is of little comfort when Kalee was not there this past weekend to allow her daughters to celebrate Mother’s Day with her, or for any of these three people killed to honor their own mothers. The annual holidays, birthdays and other celebrations in the coming months for at least four families will not be the same without them.

“Why?” is a question that rarely has a satisfying answer after a shocking situation like this. Rather, what affects change is asking, “How can I support you?” Kalee’s daughters need support in more ways than they might realize right now. The parents of each of those Kalee01people killed need support. The many friends, family and colleagues of each of them need support. I know you’ll keep each and every one of them in your thoughts and prayers. But how can this perhaps distant event be a time to pause for you in your own life?

Here’s how:  Ask yourself who is waiting for you to support them this week. Ask yourself from whom are you willing to accept help. Seeking to learn the answer to those questions is keeping me busy while the seemingly unanswerable gets worked through. In the meantime, who have you not spoken to in a while? Whose voice do you need to hear today and who needs to hear yours? Time and unforeseen circumstances truly do happen all the time. We have an obligation to support those we love and be supported by others while we are here on this planet…in some cases for far too short a time.

With love,

Terry

Kalee02

Rest in Peace - Kalee Scolatti

How Big Is Your Package?

Do you like to receive presents? I think most people would say “yes,” but do our actions support that answer?

The books by Spencer Johnson about “The Present” show how living in the present is a present, one that we can give to ourselves if we choose. How would that be if you saw your current situation wrapped up like a beautiful package for a special occasion?

Depending on how your day is going you might think, “Yeah, right! Some present!” Most of the time We can get so wrapped up in our own issues that we fail to see our blessings. Ellen Debenport talked about this situation in a recent blog, “Belligerent Victims.” (I definitely recommend you read it … after you finish my blog first, thank you very much!)

Ellen is amazing in the way she is so willing, week-after-week, to expose her own faux pas and question her definition of life. Once again she brilliantly discusses just how voraciously we can hold onto those experiences from the past in which we felt like a victim.

In order to cling to the past we must be totally focused on the injustices in our lives and, of course, completely wrapped up in our own drama. This caused me to remember something Ernest Holmes once said in a talk,

“… any person who is wrapped up in himself
is wrapped up in a very small package.”

We live in an infinitely expanding universe. Even our own little blue planet has more diversity than we could ever enjoy in one human lifetime.

A young man at a table is wrapping presents
 

But if we are too involved with ourselves we miss out on many opportunities to get outside of ourselves. By moving beyond the small confines of our own issues and drama – or even our joys and accomplishments – we can enjoy the pleasure of sharing in the lives of those around us.

Would you be willing this week to set aside whatever is eating at you and become more involved with another person in your life? You might even find yourself getting involved with someone you don’t even know!

It is only by being of service to others that we truly serve ourselves. How would that look for you? Share your thoughts below in the comment section!

In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,

Terry