I often say in guided meditations that no matter what the situation may look like at the time, everyone was doing the best they could with what they had to work with. We can certainly “Monday Morning Quarterback” any situation, but what’s the point?
Reviewing past situations with the intention to do even better next time, or to avoid the same pitfalls, is exercising wisdom. If, however, our intention is to bitch about what “they” should have or could have done, particularly when we chose not to be part of the process, then there’s really no point in regurgitating the episode. Who needs the drama?
I was criticized today for not supporting something I made clear some time ago I would not be able to fully support. I asked the person, “So basically you feel I failed you when I told you I wouldn’t be able to support you and then didn’t?” Seriously? I get that the person needed a lot more help than was available and in spite of it did an amazing job. I also get that I can only do as much as I’m capable of doing, even if someone thought I should be doing more than was possible.
Of course, this means I disappointed someone. I hate that. You can’t be a successful leader and expect to please everyone – it ain’t happening. If you’re in a leadership position trying to do that I strongly suggest you reconsider your career choice.
But to say I wasn’t pained by the disappointment I heard today would be untrue. I was pained quite deeply because I work so hard to make sure that everyone in my life is supported. Then I remembered that I did exactly what I said I would do. That’s integrity. It may not be what was desired of me, but I followed through, even if that follow through was less than was desired by others.
I’m blogging about this because if I’m upset by this after all the spiritual and inner work I’ve done over the past 25 year plus then perhaps you can see something in your life to which you can relate. We aren’t here to please each other. Don’t get me wrong – I don’t go out of my way to tick people off. But if we are going to live authentic lives then someone is going to be upset with us because we aren’t playing by their rules.
Today was my day to disappoint someone. I feel that person’s pain. I also know that we’ll both live. As my friend, Peggy, says, “It’s just one piddily-ass day. Get over it.”
In Spirit, Truth and Playfulness,